It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
