he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
