In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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