Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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