The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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