The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
