the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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