i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
