I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
