I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
