Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
