My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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