now i know why i became what i already was.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
