i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
