i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Terrible idea I love it
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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