he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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