the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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