I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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