Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
