i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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