I didn't shave. On purpose
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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