We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
