I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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