he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
