Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
