can u get pink eye on your cock?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
