So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
