It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
