waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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