Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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