good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
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