I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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