I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
mondays should just be called national damage control day
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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