Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
