Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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