what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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