Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i would punch a child for taco bell
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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