I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I think I won the penis lottery.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
