Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
