I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
