puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
