We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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