Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
