I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
