I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
a search helicopter?!
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
