Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
