Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
