dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
