I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
