Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Congratulations! We have a period
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
