I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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