Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
